SweetSpearGirl Returns
by EvilBill-AGQx
Summary: COMPLETE! Chapters 13 to 16 added. Sequel to SweetSpearGirl's Adventures. The intrepid Amazon and her merc return as the world resets itself...
1. Jabbing In Normal

**SweetSpearGirl Returns**

**Chapter 1  
Jabbing In Normal**

Cast of Characters:  
- SweetSpearGirl, the infamous Jabazon  
- Euyfura, the Sarcastic Sidekick

Not Appearing In This Film:  
- Lady FrequentCast, the Ubiquitous Valk

"Well, this is annoying," SweetSpearGirl muttered. Jolted out of her pleasant retirement in Lut Gholein so quickly that she had only enough time to snatch a bundle of plain javelins and a scrool or two, she realised on arriving back in the Rogue Camp that not only had her skills rusted, but that it was apparently standing room only round here! There were at least two other Amazons, a brace of Paladins, a Sorceress and even a Necromancer hanging around, trading stories and objets d'art. (OK, so it was mostly runes and weapons...)

"Come on boss," Euyfura said (the Rogue had also let herself go so both adventurers would have to re-practice their skills...). "Let's go and kill something."

"Not you yet, Euyfura," Kashya butted in. "We need you on the gate, if you're willing to stand by the Sisterhood again."

The Rogue nodded and took position near the palisade, clapping her Amazon friend on the shoulder as the latter headed out. "Give 'em hell."

SweetSpearGirl soon found herself lobbing javelins at masses of Fallen and a shambling zombie or two. She picked up an Experience shrine just outside town which served her in good stead, and she found herself level 4 on entering the Den of Evil. (Sadly, the shrine's effects expired at the same moment...) Sinking points into Jab, Critical Strike and Inner Sight, and with enough gold to purchase a 1-Socketed Spear from Charsi, she mowed down Fallen Shamen and Gargantuan Beasts, selling off their dropped crap for gold.

On a trip back to town, she found someone had very conveniently left behind a nice rare amulet (+1 to Amazon skills, among other things) and a ring with +15 to all resists, so she stowed both in her stash before moving on.

She hit level 5 in the Den and boosted her knowledge of Jab; a chipped diamond was the most remarkable of the loot that Corpsefire and his gang of bully-boys coughed up, sadly.

On clearing the Den she exchanged her 1-socketed spear for one with three Sockets, plugging in chipped amethyst, diamond and emerald. ("Not great, but better than nothing..." as she said to Euyfura later. The Rogue rolled her eyes and responded with, "Such riches!") She stepped on the Cold Plains waypoint and beamed back to camp, just in time to run into Kashya.

"Blood Raven's back from the dead, Amazon!" the chainmail-clad Rogue snapped. "You know the drill!"

SweetSpearGirl sighed. "Give me a few moments to rest at least! I need some new gear, too!"

Offloading her loot to Akara, she discovered to her delight that she had enough gold to kit herself out with some of Charsi's more respectable battle gear. Donning a Superior Studded Leather armour, skullcap+9 to life belt (stacked with reds, blues and a purple), gloves and boots, she sat down for a few moments' rest and passing the time with a fellow Amazon. Then it was off again...

The Cold Plains, as always, weren't very interesting. She hacked her way through packs of Dark Hunters and Gargantuan Beasts, picked up gems and loot, and encountered a Spectral Hit boss, Grey Crawler the Hungry. Blood Raven in the Burial Grounds wasn't so accomodating. SweetSpearGirl had to withdraw from battle once to replenish her pot supply, but soon the villainous undead Rogue went down, leaving a large amount of gold behind.

Turned out once this was done, Kashya didn't need so many gate guards... so Euyfura was only too willing to tag along with SweetSpearGirl again. Although the best she could get for now was a socketed Hunter's Bow plugged with chipped topaz and emerald, it was - once again - better than nothing.

"Onward and upward!" the SpearGirl said...


	2. Rescuing The Old Git

SWEETSPEARGIRL RETURNS

Chapter 2  
Rescuing An Old Git

Cast of Characters:  
- SweetSpearGirl, the Infamous Jabazon  
- Euyfura, the Sarcastic Sidekick  
- Deckard Cain, the Last of the Horadrim

Not Appearing In This Film (Yet...)  
- The Ubiquitous Valk

TAKE HEED AND BEAR WITNESS TO THE TRUTHS THAT LIE HEREIN, FOR THEY ARE THE LAST LEGACY OF THE HORADRIM...

SweetSpearGirl was level 7 by the time she found the Stony Field waypoint (the Cairn Stones and Rakanishu were just inside the Stony Field, and a monster shrine generated a Ghostly Skeleton further in; "more like a Ghostly Stupidon," Euyfura muttered).

The intrepid duo zigzagged back and forth across the area, stabbing and shooting Moon Clan and skeletons and packs of goblins and their mad Shamen. SweetSpearGirl discovered a mouldy book on a pedestal - all that remained of a long-crumbled building - but couldn't be bothered to read through it since the entrance to the Underground Passage was near.

The Passage consisted of long stretches of dark tunnel filled with goblins, Skeleton Archers and Vile Hunters. The goblins in particular were troublesome; extra fast boss Devil Jade and cold-enchanted Bile Wing the Quick barred their way through. The Rogue levelled up twice and SweetSpearGirl once; then the way up to the Dark Wood loomed ahead.

"Onward and upward?" Euyfura said with a wink.

"You betcha!" SweetSpearGirl responded, charging up.

The Dark Wood was much of a muchness with the previous areas, except that both trees and bad guys were thicker on the ground. Mowing down anything that attacked, yelled 'Rakinishu!' or pretty much did anything of anything, the battling Amazon and fearless Rogue ran through and cleared the area. Treewood Headfist and his boys proved a slight distraction but Euyfura stuck them full of arrows and SweetSpearGirl ran them through. After that, the waypoint was just a swift run away and they blinked back to town with the bark scroll thingy-wossname.

As SweetSpearGirl remarked, "Been there, done that!"

Back to the Stony Field. Hunt down the Stones. Tap each one in turn. Glow... lightning... step through the red portal.

Cut down the skeleton archer and Carver Shaman bosses. Stab Griswold... rescue Cain.

Get the crappy +15 to attack rating+1 to light radius ring.

"Bah," SweetSpearGirl sniggered. "My rings are better anyway."

"Not by much," Euyfura muttered.

"I heard that!" the Amazon retorted, selling the ring to Charsi and stripping her armour off. "But I need sleep, so I won't hit you. Yet."

Euyfura stuck her tongue out at SweetSpearGirl, slumping down by the stash. The duo slept.

Previous Index Next


	3. The Magic Bollux

SweetSpearGirl Returns

Chapter 3  
The Magic Bollux

Cast of Characters:  
- SweetSpearGirl, the Intrepid Jabazon  
- Euyfura, the Indomitable Rogue  
- Charsi, the Blonde Blacksmith

TAKE HEED AND BEAR WITNESS TO THE TRUTHS THAT LIE HEREIN, FOR THEY ARE THE LAST LEGACY OF THE HORADRIM...

Early next morning as SweetSpearGirl and Euyfura drank their morning coffee, Charsi surprised them by bursting in with a request.

"Hey guys, you know when us Rogues fled the Monastery? Well, I left my Horadric Malus behind!

SweetSpearGirl and Euyfura exchanged a look which clearer than words said, "Again?"

"Well, we're going that way anyway," SweetSpearGirl said. "We'll hunt it up for you if we get the chance."

They arrived in the Black Marsh during one of the western lands' frequent rainshowers. It wasn't long before bad guys trotted up; Night Clan goatmen mincing along and getting stabbed. OK, so SweetSpearGirl's weapon was pretty rough-and-ready, but it did do the job.

Their first real challenge came in the shape of Haze Burn the Axe (lightning enchanted) whose minions peppered Euyfura with a volley of arrows and whose charged bolts easily bypassed SweetSpearGirl's sorely lacking lightning resist. On the upside though, the boss Vile Ranger's demise did bring the latter closer to another level, and a pack of Carvers and a pair of Brutes completed the job.

Slapping her points into Dex, SweetSpearGirl portalled back to town to find a friend had arrived in the meantime - long-time adventurer Vandraedha, who had very kindly brought along some nice gear that SweetSpearGirl would be able to use as she levelled. After passing the time for a while, the two headed off in opposite directions - SweetSpearGirl back out to the Black Marsh and her friend to pastures greener where the experience was greater (but so was the danger...).

It made SweetSpearGirl wonder why she'd ever let her skills get so rusty, and as the zon and Rogue dispatched a carver camp and entered the ruined Tower, she mused as such. Euyfura shrugged.

"Well don't forget how ticked off you were with Tyrael after that last fight. We both needed a break."

"Yeah, I guess. Still should've kept in practice though. I'm sure the sand maggots didn't stop breeding just because we killed a bunch of 'em."

The Rogue shuddered as they slaughtered their way through the Dark Archers and descended to the third floor of the Tower dungeons.

"Don't remind me. I still have nightmares about Coldworm's chamber."

The level contained Sin Crawler the Slayer, a cold-enchanted ghostie, and friends. Sadly his name was quite appropriate; both spearazon and merc needed several red pots and the former needed blues as well! The drop was predictably nondescript and they ignored it and pressed on...

Ice Call the Hungry (lightning-enchanted Dark Archer) was even less forgiving. SweetSpearGirl died to this one's barrage of arrows and charged bolts; swearing profusely, she gathered in her Rogue and embarked on a corpse recovery run.

"Just my freakin' luck," she snarled, "to not have a portal standing!"

"Could be worse," Euyfura said. "Could be Coldworm's chamber!"

SweetSpearGirl muttered something rude the Rogue didn't hear and probably didn't want to...

Finally they found the last floor. Met by Ice Shard the Grim (mana burn), who was quickly taken care of (Devilkin are not exactly powerful...), they advanced on the Countess. There was gold everywhere, more than making up for their losses - thankfully, since the Countess' drop was less than spectacular.

"Two Eld runes?" Euyfura exclaimed incredulously.

"Hey, better two Eld runes than no Eld runes at all!" SweetSpearGirl said, leading to a moment of frank hilarity as the two released the built-up tension.

And the rain had stopped by the time they emerged, too.

Dark Lancers and Returned Mage Minions (led by Pulse Cloud, fire-enchanted) were the order of the hour as they progressed along the Tamoe Highlands path. Purple pots dropped and lightning mages met them at the Monastery Gate. Nothing survived except for SweetSpearGirl and Euyfura, and as they entered the Outer Cloister, SweetSpearGirl said, "Now to find Charsi's Horadric Bollux."

"Horadric What!" Euyfura snorted.

Bone Fist (cursed Razor Spine) barred the route to the nearby waypoint, but our heroes ignored his curse and killed him anyway. Black Rogues joined in, just as easily put down.

Although SweetSpearGirl was definitely feeling the need for a new weapon and Euyfura complained about her bow's low power as well.

"Nothing I can do," Charsi said as they stopped by her shack for repairs. "You've got my best equipment."

Thankfully, others weren't as limited. Some fellow adventurer had dumped their useless loot in the middle of camp and among it, SweetSpearGirl picked out a nice new bow for Euyfura, reading off the stats.

Grim Dart  
Composite Bow  
15 Enhanced Damage  
+1 Cold Damage  
5 Life Stolen Per Hit  
5 Mana Stolen Per Hit  
Lightning Resist +7

"Sweet," the Rogue said, tossing her old weapon down. "Beats this Gemmed Hunter's Bow any day of the week."

They entered the Barracks, SweetSpearGirl close to level 13 as she stuck Devilkin Shamans while Euyfura shot the Devilkin. The zon knew she could don one of Vandraedha's gifts at 14: a nice Darkglow Mail...

Bone Mages clanked into view, followed by Black Rogues led by Doom Eater the Tainted (stone skin). SweetSpearGirl noted that she really needed a stronger weapon; it was taking far too long to destroy her foes and they in turn were hitting her much too hard. Euyfura levelled to 11 during an exchange of fire with Bone Archers while Stone Venom the Flayer (Death clan boss, extra fast) barred the way onward.

"Onward and downward," SweetSpearGirl smirked as she picked through his drop.

More Mages, more Archers, more goats. Another goat boss (Pulse Poison, mana burn) presented a brief diversion before keeling over; he was followed by a pack of Bone Mage Champions and then another Mage boss, Sin Tongue (extra strong). SweetSpearGirl pulled Euyfura out of that fight quickly, noticing her companion was taking most of the fire, and grimly proceeded to stab the enemy to bits.

And there in the next room was a big fat bastard with a hammer. The Smith bellowed something about making weapons from SweetSpearGirl's bones, but this was clearly not going to happen as he keeled over quickly.

There on a stand was a small smithing hammer, humming with inner magic: the Horadric Bollox! And miracle of miracles, a weapon for SweetSpearGirl too! A Trident of Maiming (+3 to maximum damage) was a reasonable upgrade from her Gemmed Spear...

Charsi was overjoyed to have her Bollux back ("It's a MALUS!" she said), and imbued a pair of boots for SweetSpearGirl. OK, so the result wasn't wonderful, but it was a lot better than plain boots!

Back down, and into the Jail after hearing Cain's spiel about Andariel. The waypoint wasn't far from the stairs and shortly after that, an encounter with Star Head (Bone Archer, teleportation) boosted SweetSpearGirl to level 14.  
"Yes!" she cried, hurriedly swapping her Angelic mail for Darkglow; she grinned as the resistance boosts and extra defence made themselves felt.

Euyfura hit level 11 as they headed downwards to level 2 of the Jail, and whispered in SweetSpearGirl's ear with a smile, "another level and you can chuck me that Angelic armour."

Dark Ones surrounded them, Rrrrakishuing annoyingly. With a Slash! Stab! Poink! "Aoww!", goblins were dying and our heroes were charging onward.  
Turning a corner, they met Pitspawn Fouldog (Disfigured, cursed, cold-enchanted), whose death nova hacked a large dent in SweetSpearGirl's life ball, but he had dropped several red pots so it wasn't a problem. Save for a secret room and a few mana-draining Wraiths led by Bone Growler the Wraith (lightning-enchanted), the remainder of the level was nondescript and it wasn't long before SweetSpearGirl and Euyfura fought their way through Vile Fester (Bone Archer, lightning-enchanted) and level 3, to the Inner Cloister waypoint.

Night had fallen outside and the campfire burned brightly, so they immediately doffed their battle gear and spent the rest of the night sleeping the sleep of the just.


	4. Demon Queen

SweetSpearGirl Returns

Chapter 4: Demon Queen

Cast of Characters:  
- SweetSpearGirl, the Intrepid Amazon  
- Euyfura, the Sarcastic Sidekick  
- Andariel, the Maiden of Anguish

TAKE HEED AND BEAR WITNESS TO THE TRUTHS THAT LIE HEREIN, FOR THEY ARE THE LAST LEGACY OF THE HORADRIM...

The Cathedral beckoned as SweetSpearGirl and Euyfura stepped off the Inner Cloister waypoint the next morning, after discovering that some kind soul had left a gold Brandistock in camp during the night. Within, they found Dark Ones and their as-always-annoying Shamen, and Wraiths (the latter led by Dragon Grumble the Hungry, extra-fast and probably a member of Kitsilan's favourite demon family...), as well as a pack of Tainted. No-one and nothing deigned to drop anything of any interest and after a brief diversion by Bone Ash (magic resistant, extra strong, cold enchanted, immune to cold), the zon and her merc descended the spiral staircase into the Catacombs.

Euyfura shivered. "It's cold down here!"

"That's because you're wearing that skimpy Rogue gear," SweetSpearGirl retorted, keeping her eyes strained in the gloom for anything that might be moving.

"Well I don't see you wearing anything on your legs either!" Euyfura complained.

"That's because I'm used to it!" The spearazon stuck her tongue out at the rogue, shoving over a casket lid to find - well, bugger-all worthy of notice actually. But that was okay because the next room's casket yielded two magic Rings.

A pair of Dark Shaman Champions later, they encountered Pit Grin the Grim (extra fast) and minions, a pack of speedy Tainted who prompted the spearazon to need to drink several potions! On the up side, both she and Euyfura levelled during the fight, and SweetSpearGirl threw her Rogue the Angelic mail while pulling on her own newest gear: Harpoonist's Chain Gloves of Chance.

"Bit warmer now, eh, Rogue?"

Euyfura just rolled her eyes and nocked another arrow.

More Dark Ones, more Shamen, another pack of Tainted. A few silly little Rat Men mixed in, but nothing they couldn't handle before reaching the way down to level 2. In level 2, their only obstacles were a pair of boss spiders (Mold Slime the Cold, mana burn; and Doom Vex, fire-enchanted); aside from this, the only occupants were more Tainted and Dark Ones with their Shamen. They found the way down to level 3 before the waypoint, which they discovered east of the way down along a crosswise corridor.

SweetSpearGirl mopped her brow as she sold off the loot back in town. "Maybe I should buy a stamina potion or two!"

"Speak for yourself," Euyfura said. "I can run all day!"

"You try being weighed down with this spear then," the Amazon snapped back.

Level 3 provided a welcome relief from Dark Shamen, although the usual Tainted quota was filled by packs of Afflicted (including a pack of Champions, and a boss, Blight Spell, extra fast, who did nonetheless drop Cleglaw's gloves). Ghouls, on the other hand, were slow and easy to deal with. Champion Banished were awkward, but on the other hand SweetSpearGirl did level up again, to 16, while fighting them. She sank five more points in Strength and boosted her Jab to slvl 10.

Now she was ready for Andariel. The duo were irritated at the presence of more Dark Shamen and their goblins in the level 4 antechamber, but they dispatched them with ease and shoved open the large double doors leading to the Maiden of Anguish's lair.

At first they were met only by a few Ghouls and a goblin or two, but after they punctured the Dark Shamen lurking around, Andariel herself strode down.

"_DIE, MAGGOT!_"

SweetSpearGirl was quickly poisoned, but Euyfura kept out of the way, firing arrows from behind a pillar while her companion drank pots and Jabbed the Demon Queen to death. Finally, Andariel immolated in a huge pillar of fire, the chamber shook, and a portal opened.

"No more Anguish-inflicting for THIS maiden!" SweetSpearGirl smirked.

"You're no maiden - oh, you meant Andariel," Euyfura popped off with an innocent look as her friend glared at her.

They packed up the loot and went back to sell it off (Andariel dropped SweetSpearGirl a rare amulet which, if not exactly great, was better than the one she had...

The night would be spent on the caravan crossing the mountain pass.

(SweetSpearGirl was level 16 when she defeated Andariel. Another 2/3rds of a level and she can equip a Bloodthief, which will be a major boost over and above her current Trident.)


	5. Full Of Eastern Promise

SweetSpearGirl Returns

Chapter 5  
Full Of Eastern Promise

Cast of Characters  
- SweetSpearGirl, the Incredible Amazon  
- Euyfura, the Sarcastic Sidekick

TAKE HEED AND BEAR WITNESS TO THE TRUTHS THAT LIE HEREIN, FOR THEY ARE THE LAST LEGACY OF THE HORADRIM...

The first thing SweetSpearGirl did on arriving back home in Lut Gholein was make sure no-one had broken into her apartment. The second thing she did was to stop by Fara's establishment and replace her trident with a Spetum of the Bat (higher damage and 5 mana steal). OK, so she'd only need it for 2/3rds of a level, but but what the hell.

Next stop: Radament's Fun House. (On her way down into the Sewers, she made it clear to Greiz in no uncertain terms that if he attenpted to 'comfort' Atma, and upset her any further, he'd have the business end of a Spetum of the Bat rammed right up his fundament...)

Burning Dead and their Archer companions were SweetSpearGirl and Euyfura's first encounters below the surface, followed closely by Dried Corpses which gave the zon her first opportunity to test the mana steal on her weapon. Unlike most mercs, Euyfura deftly avoided the Dried Corpses' expiring poison clouds, too, but as she put it, "I'm not just another merc, am I?"

"No you're not," SweetSpearGirl grinned. "I wonder if Kashya realised way back when, that I was depriving her of her finest."

"Yeah, well, I'd rather tag along with you anyway," the Rogue smirked. "You're more fun."

An El rune dropped from one of the beasties Euyfura shot, but aside from that, the only thing worthy of remark on level 1 was SweetSpearGirl's level-up.

Nearby was the second sewer entrance, which the duo took back to town for coffee and to equip Bloodthief. SweetSpearGirl's maximum damage soared, although she traded her mana leech for 11 life steal.

A few more Burning Dead Archers later, they found the steps down to level 2, which consisted of more Burning Dead Archers plus some Sand Raiders. A rare Amulet turned out to be a slight improvement over SweetSpearGirl's existing one.

Shortly after discovering the waypoint they met Star Call (fire enchanted), who did his best to blow SweetSpearGirl to hell and back on dying, but just couldn't.

"You have to feel sorry for 'em don't you?" the SpearGirl said.

"Uhhh - No!" Euyfura retorted.

"Oh. Guess not." SweetSpearGirl smirked, chasing off after a Sand Raider and finding the stairs down to level 3.

Down on level 3 they ran into Burning Dead Mages lobbing fireballs, along with the usual bevy of Dried Corpses and such. SweetSpearGirl levelled to 18 courtesy of one of Euyfura's arrows, spending a skill point in Penetrate and five stat points in Dex.

"The Joy of Dex," she smirked. Euyfura just rolled her eyes and fired another volley.

They rounded a corner and ran smack into a bunch of Horrors and Mages led by Radament himself. SweetSpearGirl grabbed her Rogue by the arm and pulled her back to draw off the big mummy's minions, picking them off one by one. In fact, by the time they even saw the big bastard, all that was left around him were a couple of Burning Dead Mages, a Dried Corpse or two, and lots of gold.

"We live - Again!" he sneered.

"You die - Again!" SweetSpearGirl snarled, laying into him.

And in fact, he did... dropping a Book of Skill.

His golden chest revealed what an enthused Cain swore was "the Lost Horadric Scroll!"; Atma found the taste of vengeance to her liking, and Jheryn told SweetSpearGirl what she'd already figured out long ago - that the Dark Wanderer was Diablo...

It was evening in the Jewel City of the Desert, and after a while sitting and thinking near the harbour, and a drink or two at Atma's, SweetSpearGirl and Euyfura returned to their apartment and crashed.


	6. Desert Adventures

SweetSpearGirl Returns

Chapter 6  
Desert Adventures

Cast of Characters:  
- SweetSpearGirl, the Infamous Amazon  
- Euyfura, the Magnificent Merc

TAKE HEED AND BEAR WITNESS TO THE TRUTHS THAT LIE HEREIN, FOR THEY ARE THE LAST LEGACY OF THE HORADRIM...

SweetSpearGirl woke early the next morning to realise the stash in the middle of town had been littered with unusual items. Mostly spears.  
She quite frankly squealed with delight on discovering Lycander's Flank was among them, as well as a Horadric Cube, Thundergod's Vigour and some nice gloves...

Donning her current battle gear, she pulled Euyfura out of a heated debate with Greiz and they charged out of the town gate to meet whatever badly-behaved beasties awaited them. As usual in these parts, Huntresses and Dung Soldiers were easy to deal with and Sand Leapers were annoying (although Euyfura deftly targetted and brought down the latter). Doom Maul (cursed) posed a brief diversion before dropping a chipped sapphire; she was followed by a boss pack of Carrion Birds (notable only because of there being no other vultures in the area).

Euyfura was frankly bored and took to wandering off at inopportune moments just when SweetSpearGirl needed the artillery support.

It was the Amazon's turn to roll her eyes.

"You know, you didn't have to come with me if you're this bored!"

"Well it was either this or stay back in town arguing with Greiz."

"What is it with you and him anyway?"

"He's rude and misogynistic... oh, hell. He's a man!"

SweetSpearGirl raised an eyebrow as she slaughtered a pack of Dung Soldiers, passing a small tree-surrounded pool; a little oasis of beauty in the harsh desert.

"You don't like men then? Funny, I could've sworn you enjoyed eyeing up the singles at Atma's last time we were fighting the Minions of Diablo round here."

"Maybe I wasn't looking at the men!" the Rogue retorted.

The adventurers entered the Dry Hills to be met by Spear and Sabre Cats, and Undead Scavengers.

"Least there's none of those pesky leapers," SweetSpearGirl muttered.

"They don't bother me," Euyfura said.

"Oh, shut up."

Monster density was light in the Dry Hills, not much experience gain here! SweetSpearGirl was almost to level 19 as she descended the cliff-cut steps to the lower half of the Hills; Spear Cats lobbing exploding potions were swiftly taken care of before SweetSpearGirl ran across the waypoint; twinking back to town and selling off a couple of nondescript rings and an amulet before returning to the fight and levelling up in short order.

Boosting her Strength again (Lycander's would need it!) and upping her Jab to slvl 14, she felt ready for anything.

...Okay, anything except boss Sand Maggots. SweetSpearGirl hated nasty, ugly bugs with a passion, and bugs this big and this ugly just made her shudder. The boss in question (backed up by squads of Itchies and Death Beetles), Flame Thirst the Dark (cursed) was fortunately also fragile and went splat after a few hits; sadly, its minions managed to hit SweetSpearGirl with a few poison spitballs and those definitely made her feel very sick!

"Oh well," she grumbled after downing an antidote. "Onward and upward!"

More Itchies, more Undead Scavengers, more Death Beetles. The next Maggot boss (Doom Spawn the Jagged, teleportation). The waypoint popped up. SweetSpearGirl was still grumbling to herself.

"What're you complaining about now?"

"Bloody maggot lair coming up, what d'you think? I wish Cain would go find his precious artifacts himself for once."

A few packs of beasties later, they let themselves down the dank tunnel into the Maggot Lair. Rock Worms and Black Locusts were the order of the day on level 1, and Scarabs came out to play too. Due to Euyfura's indiscriminate arrow-firing, even more Black Locusts came buzzing down the corridor, so it was a while before the duo could move on. The Level 2 entrance wasn't too far, and they slid down easily.

Level 2 was much of a muchness with its predecessor, except swap Scarabs for Death Beetles (hardly an improvement, to SweetSpearGirl's mind) and normal Rock Worms for Devil Call the Shade (Unholy Freeze aura enchanted) and minions.

"Ick," the Amazon shuddered. "Let's frag 'em."

So they did. First the boss (to get rid of that chilling aura), then the minions. SweetSpearGirl levelled to 20 during the fight and Euyfura to 18 shortly after. Another point in Jab, some dexterity, and the way down to level 3.

Sigh. Exchange Rock Worms for a few Sand Maggots and level 3 was just the same. A few fights followed and up ahead they found the chamber of Coldworm the Burrower (cold enchanted, magic resistant). The poison was potent and the Sand Maggots numerous, but they won through, snatching the Staff of Kings from the golden chest.

Finally the intrepid pair returned to town for healing, repairs and a well-earned rest.


	7. Desert Dwelling Snake Demons

SWEETSPEARGIRL RETURNS

Chapter 7  
Desert-Dwelling Snake Demons

Cast of Characters:  
- SweetSpearGirl, the Mighty Jabazon  
- Euyfura, the Sarcastic Rogue

TAKE HEED AND BEAR WITNESS TO THE TRUTHS THAT LIE HEREIN, FOR THEY ARE THE LAST LEGACY OF THE HORADRIM...

After a nice rest, SweetSpearGirl and Euyfura wandered out to the Far Oasis again via the waypoint. Packs of Itchies, nests of Black Raptors and a few Undead Scavengers menaced them, but no Maggots or lightning beetles today so it was routine.

It wasn't long before they entered the Lost City and shortly after that, darkness abruptly fell, as if someone had closed their fist over the sun.

"I knew this was too easy," Euyfura groused.

"Hush, you," SweetSpearGirl said. "We'll get some nice Experience down in these Ancient Tunnels, anyway."

So down they went. Horror Mages menaced them and Embalmed and Plague Bearers shambled around looking for trouble. They found Wind Drool (Embalmed, lightning-enchanted) guarding a golden chest and shortly after that some nameless beastie coughed up - a golden ring! SweetSpearGirl pounced on it and waved a conveniently-nearby-dropped identify scrool over it.

"Nagelring," she muttered. "Well, I might swap it out for my life replenish ring anyway. It does have magic find and magic damage reduction."

Well, onward and upward. Well... onward, anyway.

The Ancient Tunnels were a bit skanky, though. Euyfura levelled, then they ran into Shadow Call the Slayer (Plague Bearer, extra strong, and not much of a slayer), who was little more than an inconvenience. He did, however, drop an Arctic Belt (which SweetSpearGirl discarded in the Rogue Camp for any wandering adventurer to grab) and a Nef rune (which she carefully stowed away).

Back out in the dark Lost City, they ran into Vile Thorn (Tomb Creeper, conviction-aura enchanted) who SweetSpearGirl stabbed relentlessly while Euyfura peppered the minions with arrers.

Night Tigers and Champion Plague Bearers proved little trouble (although SweetSpearGirl was still bemoaning her lack of mana steal) and Tomb Creepers were just annoying.

"If they're Tomb Creepers, why aren't they creeping in tombs instead of leaping around out here?" SweetSpearGirl grumbled.

"They do it deliberately to annoy you," Euyfura said sticking her tongue out, and went back to shooting them.

"Well it's easy for you, your arrows don't rely on a mana supply that only lasts about five seconds!"

Dark Elder (extra fast, magic resistant) and his Plague Bearer minions intercepted the intrepid duo near a Fire Tower, but he did give up a couple of purples which the zon could cube up, and she did level to 21 on his death, so she didn't mind. Another 5 points in dexterity and point in Critical Strike later, they found the entrance to the Valley of Snakes so decided to skip waypoint searching, following Drognan's spiel about Claw Viper Temples. Down we go!

Eeeek, stair trap! There were a pair of Bone Warrior-resurrecting Guardians lurking in the corners of the first big room, and a pack of Claw Vipers slinking up for the kill. Salamanders followed suit; they looked just like their Viper cousins only they were a bright and most un-blending-in red. Down you go! Euyfura levelled again further in.

Almost every room was infested with Guardians herding and resurrecting packs of Bone Warriors, with Claw Vipers and their ilk getting in the way and underfoot. Twice, SweetSpearGirl opened a door only to release the floodgates: finding no less than five Guardians in one chamber and a veritable horde of other enemies. The Experience shrine she found halfway through certainly didn't hurt to boost her up!

The second level of the Temple, by contrast, was small, and inhabited only by a few Claw Vipers, Fangskin (extra fast, lightning enchanted) and his Salamander minions. The lightning hurt, but fortunately SweetSpearGirl was more robust than her enemies and very soon the floor was covered in dead snake-demons and she was kicking over the altar and grabbing herself a Viper Amulet. Nice! She cubed herself a Horadric Staff and the couple headed back to Lut Gholein for a well-earned rest.


	8. Old Summoners And Bold Summoners

SweetSpearGirl Returns

Chapter 8  
Old Summoners And Bold Summoners

Cast of Characters  
SweetSpearGirl, the Mighty Spearazon  
Euyfura, the Adoring Sidekick  
The Summoner

TAKE HEED AND BEAR WITNESS TO THE TRUTHS THAT LIE HEREIN, FOR THEY ARE THE LAST LEGACY OF THE HORADRIM...

"Horazon, Horazon, Horazon!" Euyfura muttered to herself. "All anyone talks about round here is Horazon!"

And the boss had a stick up her butt about the long-lost mage too, the rogue mused as they entered Jerhyn's palace. Where the couple soon ran into Invaders, distant cousins of the Sand Raiders from the sewers. Blunderbores and Dune Beasts soon followed. No problems there, and they soon descended to the Palace Cellars.

Level 1 was swarming with fireball-lobbing Horror Mages, some of them led by Puke Shank (mana burn). SweetSpearGirl was still trying to figure out his name even after she downed him (she was grateful for the healing pots he dropped, too - fire resist of only 27 meant the fireballs hurt...)

"Onward and downward," she remarked to Euyfura in an aside as they waypoint-hunted. A few Invaders barred their way before they activated it, but they felt no need to return to town yet. Besides, people would still be going on about Horazon up there. They pressed on.

Level 2 possessed a Champion pack of Horror Archers which were strong enough for SweetSpearGirl to need several potions ("damn unleechable skeletons!" she griped). Euyfura's arrows finished off the nearby Invaders while the zon scavenged a purple from one of the crumbled Archers. Her pack was full so they portalled back to sell off their loot (and avoided people talking about Horazon...).

Back to the fight; level 3 contained more Horror Archers and lightning-tossing Mages (more potions needed!). It also contained Fire Eye (fire-enchanted, extra fast), a nasty Invader boss whose minions swarmed the intrepid couple. He did, however, drop a purple - allowing SweetSpearGirl to cube up three of them.

She smiled. "Let's kick rubber and burn some arses!" was her comment.

Euyfura just rolled her eyes.

A few Dune Beasts later, there was a glowing blue portal in front of them.

"After you," Euyfura quipped. SweetSpearGirl shook her head and stepped through.

Spectres and Ghoul Lords greeted them just past the waypoint, along the Arcane Sanctuary's eastern arm. Followed up by Hell Clan Goat Boys and a few Lightning Spires. Not dropping much loot, sadly (an Amulet of Gheed - I mean, Greed - was the most notable drop), but what else was new?

They moved slowly up the eastern arm, slaying badly-behaved beasties as they went. Euyfura levelled to 20, shortly after followed by SweetSpearGirl reaching 22.

"Five more to go, then I can use that Tannr Gorerod!" the latter enthused.

"Who or what is Tannr anyway?" Euyfura wondered. SweetSpearGirl shrugged.

"Beats me. If it kills demons, I don't care what it's called!"

"You'd soon change your mind if it was called the Horadric Phallus!" Euyfura smirked. SweetSpearGirl stuck her tongue out.

"Watch it, girl, or I might borrow the thing from Charsi!"

Further along, someone dropped a Lapis Chain Mail of Balance, which was a nice improvement over Euyfura's Angelic armour, so she swapped over (pretending not to notice SweetSpearGirl's ogling as the rogue slipped out of her old armour). The spearazon picked up an Experience shrine shortly before reaching the end of the eastern arm (packed with gold and items), although the effect sadly wore off before they were finished gathering in the loot.

Next up was the southern arm. A mana-burning ghoul boss, Pulse Thorn the Jagged, barred their way, but SweetSpearGirl had no truck with his kind and swiftly shoved her spear up him.

The remainder of the arm was nondescript - just more beasties - until they reached the end. A sudden Glacial Spike shot out of nowhere.

"It's the Summoner!" SweetSpearGirl yelled and leapt back. She gestured to Euyfura.

"Follow my lead!"

The two of them gradually lured out the Summoner's hangers-on, taking care of them while avoiding his curses and missiles. One Glacial Spike impacted SweetSpearGirl (who yelled, "Ouch!") but she shook it off and continued attacking. Soon the Summoner was down and then a few more Ghoul Lords later, Horazon's Journal was hers.

They hopped through the red portal, took the waypoint back to town, and relaxed. And everyone had shut up about Horazon, too!


	9. A Giant Slug Stuck So Full Of Holes

SweetSpearGirl Returns

Chapter 9  
A Giant Slug Stuck So Full Of Holes You Could Call It A Swiss Cheese

Cast of Characters  
------------------  
SweetSpearGirl, the Swiftly-Levelling Jabazon  
Euyfura, the Still-Mostly-In-The-Closet Merc  
Duriel, a Giant Slug

TAKE HEED AND BEAR WITNESS TO THE TRUTHS THAT LIE HEREIN, FOR THEY ARE THE LAST LEGACY OF THE HORADRIM...

SweetSpearGirl thumbed through her notebook. Seems the mark of the True Tomb was an upside-down crescent moon. Sadly, the Canyon of the Magi was crawling with Steel Scarabs and Hell Slingers, both of which hurt and required her and Euyfura to take frequent healing. The odd Crusher served only as a distraction.

"I want to hit 24 and cast Decoy," the amazon groused as she and Euyfura reached the doorway to the Tomb. What was left of her sanity implored her not to enter, but that voice was only a whisper now.

As they worked their way down into the crypt, they encoured Apparitions and Ghoul Lords, then further on huge packs of Burning Dead and their Unraveller overlords.

"Gah!" SweetSpearGirl shouted over the sounds of combat. "I'd almost have preferred the beetles!"

"Tell me about it!" Euyfura shot back, firing off another volley of arrows.

"When all this is over, we are going to get drunk at Atma's, rogue!"

"Sounds like a plan to me!"

Unfortunately, as they soon found out, the only thing worse than an Unraveller, was a boss Unraveller. Stone Break the Flayer (stone skin) spewed poison into SweetSpearGirl's face, busying her while Euyfura had to contend with his resurrecting Unravellers and Burning Dead and Ghoul Lords alike. His drop was a typically non-descript pair of rare Heavy Boots and a +8 to life charm. SweetSpearGirl sold both to Fara for repairs money and moved on.

There were lots of Urns in this tomb, containing everything from chipped gems and mana pots to fiery traps. Kicking them became almost as commonplace as stabbing monsters; the only variation came in the form of a Mummy Sarcophagus spitting out Dried Corpses in one chamber (although they had three Unravellers and friends to deal with first!).

"Damn undead," SweetSpearGirl muttered.  
"Damn ghouls," Euyfura responded, still a little singed after her last encounter with Ghoul Lord firewalls.  
"Damn undead," SweetSpearGirl re-iterated as another horde of skeletons and their Unraveller masters hove into view. She swore as an Apparition drained her mana, and hastily downed another blue pot. A pair of Flying Scimitars spawned from a trapped urn and she put them down. In the next chamber some nameless beastie dropped a Greater Mana pot which was much appreciated!

SweetSpearGirl picked up an experience shrine, muttering in annoyance as the Apparition she'd just killed, got raised up again. The Burning Dead were clustered so thickly it was difficult to get past them to their masters, and this one was Pulse Tongue the Unclean (mana burn), whose minions swarmed the duo. He did, however, let fly another Greater Mana pot, and an urn coughed up a rare Breast Plate which, while being utterly useless, did pad SweetSpearGirl's nest egg by almost 10k.

They turned a corner and - oh crap! the floodgates have been opened! A huge pack of Apparitions led the way, followed by several fire-raising Ghoul Lords and masses of Burning Dead. SweetSpearGirl and Euyfura fell back, the former madly downing pots. If it wasn't for the purple she drank while pulling half a dozen Burning Dead away, she'd have been doing a corpse-recovery run right there. Finally the packs thinned out enough for them to target the Unravellers, and then the chamber was empty.

Another room, another pack of trouble. This tomb was huge; SweetSpearGirl was wondering why, quite honestly.

"I mean - this place could've housed several live kings, the size of it, let alone a single dead one!"

"Well, maybe the Horadrim enlarged it for Tal Rasha," Euyfura said, firing a volley into a pack of Apparitions.

"Maybe - but I doubt it," SweetSpearGirl said.

A long hallway lined with ornate columns led them to a derelict burial chamber filled with the remains of ancient offerings - and a Mummy Sarcophagus on the wall, and more Unravellers... then a doorway leading to another Unraveller and - finally - the Horadric Orifice!

Avoiding the unsavoury one-liners Euyfura was about to come out with, SweetSpearGirl slotted the Staff into position and watched the light show.

"LOOKING FOR BAAL?" snarled a giant slug with shoulder-blades in response.

"Nah. I'm here to kill you!" SweetSpearGirl yelled.

Easier said than done, though! She used up all four of her purples in the space of three hits from Duriel and several corpse-recovery runs followed before he finally bit the dust! And that only thanks to an itinerant paladin who dropped by to help, too! The bastard hit far too hard and SweetSpearGirl knew she'd have to invest a little in vitality soon. Or find some better armour!

Meshif was ready to go by the time she got back to town. It was time to go to Kurast...

TO BE CONTINUED...


	10. Ruff In The Jungle Bizness

SweetSpearGirl Returns

CHAPTER 10  
Ruff In The Jungle Bizness

Cast of Characters:  
- SweetSpearGirl, the Smartass Spearazon  
- Euyfura, the Riled Rogue

TAKE HEED AND BEAR WITNESS TO THE TRUTHS THAT LIE HEREIN, FOR THEY ARE THE LAST LEGACY OF THE HORADRIM...

The rain was never-ending in Kurast; a continual, humid drizzle paired with the oppressive atmosphere of the far eastern jungles. Outside the docks, in just a few short years the jungle had reclaimed much of the mostly-abandoned cities of Kurast, surrounding and covering the works of mankind with trees and vines and undergrowth along the fetid rivers.

And within those jungles and rivers lurked all manner of vicious beasts and Hellish minions...

Across a small stagnant stream from the dockside, the intrepid duo (getting moving straight away, as Cain had been insistent!) encountered a Dark Wanderer moving slowly but purposefully towards the interior. He beamed away, summoning in a pack of Flesh Beasts to hamper SweetSpearGirl's progress; sadly, they dropped nothing but a quiver of arrows. SweetSpearGirl kicked them aside, already sweating in her armour.

"It's too damn humid here!" she complained.

"Take your gear off then," Euyfura shot back.

"Oh, yeah, you'd love that wouldn't you? At least, till I got killed by the first boss we run into!"

As it turned out, that first boss was very close by. Rust Fest (fetish, extra fast - a needless enhancement on a jungle pygmy!) dropped a blue falchion and a Jade Figurine, which SweetSpearGirl carted back to Meshif. That worthy passed her a gold bird, the contents of which Alkor brewed into a nice potion of extra life for her. She downed it with thanks.

"Onward and upward, eh Rogue?"

"You said it boss. Although I could so do with a cold shower in this weather."

"I'm hurt, I thought it was me having that effect on you!"

Euyfura blew a raspberry at her spearazon.

More Fetishes, mixed in with a few Jungle Hunters. No exciting drops to speak of, although SweetSpearGirl did level to 23 and put a few stat points into vitality. A Fetish Shaman, standing on the head of one of his friends, briefly blocked their path, and then they were at the entrance to the Spider Cavern.

"Bosses first," Euyfura said with a smug grin on her face.

Feeling irritable, SweetSpearGirl let herself down into the cave.

Down in the depths, it wasn't the spiders that bothered the couple of adventurers. Sure, they hit hard (especially Sszark the Burning, extra strong, cursed) but they weren't disgusting icky creatures - unlike the Giant Lampreys who kept them company, evidently distant cousins of the Sand Maggots of the desert. However, there weren't many of these, and SweetSpearGirl soon had herself a glowing chest and an Eye of Khalim. She did however elect to continue and fully clear the Cavern, reasoning that the more beasties she fragged, the sooner she'd be able to hit level 24 and re-learn her Decoy skill.

Back and forth they went, up and down the jungle, SMing and then slaughtering Jungle Hunters and gangs of Fetishes. Some nameless beastie dropped a three-socketed Superior Maiden Spear, and on seeing that two perfect skulls and a perfect sapphire would make it a significant improvement over her current Bloodthief, our hero promptly switched weapons. Now doing 76-104 damage with her Jab, SweetSpearGirl was able to tear through her foes. Jungle Hunters went down in droves, as did a pack of Champion Cloud Stalkers. This was the first time she had had any mana leech, and she was very grateful for it!

A portal shrine, an El rune and a great many troublesome troublemakers later, SweetSpearGirl and Euyfura stood at the Spider Forest waypoint.

"Want to take a break?" Euyfura suggested.

"Let's clear the Arachnid Lair first. I'm close to levelling."

"Well, bosses still go first!"

Waiting for them were more Giant Lampreys and big green spiders, as well as a pack of Fiends led by Soul Lust (mana burn). Down you go. Someone dropped a 1-17 lightning damage charm, which SweetSpearGirl thought a good trade for her +8 to life one.

Sadly, even after fully clearing the Lair, SweetSpearGirl was still not quite level 24. So the duo pressed onward through the rest of the Spider Forest and into the Great Marsh, and finally, a few Drowned Carcasses and Storm Call (fetish shaman, cursed) later, SweetSpearGirl levelled to 24 and could re-learn her Decoy.

"NOW can we take a break?" Euyfura said.

SweetSpearGirl only grinned and fired off a Town Portal scrool.


	11. The Fall Of Mephisto

SWEETSPEARGIRL RETURNS

Chapter 11  
The Fall Of Mephisto

Cast of Characters:  
- SweetSpearGirl, Who Needs No Introduction  
- Euyfura, Likewise  
- The Ubiquitous Decoy

TAKE HEED AND BEAR WITNESS TO THE TRUTHS THAT LIE HEREIN, FOR THEY ARE THE LAST LEGACY OF THE HORADRIM...

Seethe Fang (blowdart fetish, teleportation) awaited SweetSpearGirl and Euyfura as they left the relative safety of the Spider Forest waypoint and headed back into the jungle, but SweetSpearGirl's freshly re-acquired Decoy distracted him long enough for well-placed arrows and spears to slay him and his minions. Further on, through a few packs of Cloud Stalkers and straggling Suckers ("damn mosquitoes," SweetSpearGirl commented), and into the Flayer Jungle. Where, oddly enough, they met Flayers and their Shamen.

Grey Maim the Jagged (flayer shaman, cursed) barred their way - but not for long. Stumbling into a Flayer village, however, SweetSpearGirl fetched up against a pack of Champion Soul Killers backed up by blowdart flayers and Winged Nightmares, without time to cast a Decoy. A corpse-recovery run followed...

"Bastards!" she muttered angrily. Euyfura agreed silently.

Happily, the waypoint was just round the corner; they fragged their foes and snagged it.

More Flayers, more Shamen, more Winged Nightmares. SweetSpearGirl snagged a Cathan's ring from someone for the extra life-steal (it was definitely worth the loss of magic find from the Nagel!), boosting her life steal to 20 overall. Another Flayer village up ahead contained the Gidbinn altar (a single Champion Rat Man was its guardian, hmmm); she returned the magic dagger to Ormus, who told her, "This magic ring does me no good!"...

"Storm Gyre" Required Level: 13 +4 to Energy Cold Resist 13 Lightning Resist 6 Damage Reduced by 2 Half Freeze Duration 5 Better Chance of Getting Magic Items

OK, so it wasn't awful, and it would have been a keeper if it had had a few percent of life steal, but at least for now SweetSpearGirl needed to stick with her dual Cathan's set-up, so she didn't don the gift. She did however hang onto it, in case she found some life leech on something else.

Now it was on into the Flayer Dungeon to hunt down Khalim's Brain. SweetSpearGirl picked up combat and armour shrines as the intrepid pair (with liberally-placed Decoys) fought Dark Shapes and various kinds of Flayers (including Undead ones, who exploded and hurt). As they picked their way through level 2 of the dungeon, these included Sin Crawler the Slayer (stone skin), whose pack was backed up by a couple of poison-spitting Water Watchers. Unfortunately, SweetSpearGirl's weapon chose to break just when she didn't have enough gold for repairs, so in the end she did sell Ormus' gift to Hratli to cover the costs.

Aside from a few Flayer-filled rooms, large parts of level 3 were errily empty. Until the Witch Doctor Endugu (magic resistant, fire enchanted) charged his buggers out on our intrepid adventurers! Fortunately, he dropped some nice magical items which fetched a good price in town, and the glowing chest coughed up Khalim's Brain.

So it was time to have done with the jungle!

Up the fetid river they went, smashing their way through Flayers and Winged Nightmares, downing potions left and right. Both spearazon and rogue levelled to 25 on the way, prompting Euyfura to comment, "Say what you like, these buggers give good exp!"

"You give a better one," SweetSpearGirl smirked, evading Euyfura's bow which the rogue suddenly decided to throw at her.

"Watch it," Euyfura said, "or there won't be any more Rogue exp for you!"

Both SweetSpearGirl and Euyfura were by now heartily sick of the Flayers, their Shamen and their jungle, so it was almost a relief when the remains of the city of Kurast opened up before them and Stormtree (extra fast, lightning enchanted) and his Thrasher minions charged out at them. They went down, and our heroes pressed onward.

Lower Kurast was home to Tree Lurkers, cousins of those annoying Sand leapers from the desert, but they seemed to not hit so hard and were easily dispatched. They also encountered Zakarumites (as well as Hell Buzzard minions led by Pulse Wolf - fire enchanted), who went down so wonderfully easily that SweetSpearGirl's depressed spirits were lifted and even the humidity seemed to matter far less. Every monster was just another opportunity for loot. Every boss (like Devil Bender - cold-enchanted zakarumite) was just more experience. A few Doom Apes showed up, went down easily, and then there was the Lower Kurast waypoint.

"Onward and upward," said SweetSpearGirl with a grin as they entered the Kurast Bazaar. It was guarded by a pack of Champion Thrashers who dropped purples and gold; further on, they met more Zakarumites and normal Thrashers, as well as Faithful and lightning-shooting Sextons. Nothing was more than a minor problem and, well, onward and upward, another fight and another waypoint...

They peeked into the Ruined Temple and - eeek! Stair trap! It was wall-to-wall Spider Magi and Flesh Hunters - not tough, but unexpected. Stab Jab Poink! Another step, a pair of Night Lords, and then Battlemaid Sarina (extra fast, spectral hit) and her multitude of minions charged out.

The Black Book of Lam Esen was just in the next room. Alkor was overjoyed to have it, and SweetSpearGirl was able to put 5 wisely-placed points into Strength. She also came up trumps with a Rainbow Amulet of the Sentinel (+8 to all resists and MDR +2) which she swapped for her previous rare ammy.

Upper Kurast yielded packs of Zealots and Cantors, and oddly enough a boss pack of Winged Nightmares led by Stone Break the Hunter (fire enchanted). The only trouble came from Foul Maggot the Sharp (lightning-enchanted Cantor) and his Faithful minions, who required a hasty escape to town before returning to beat the crap out of them.

"Ouch!" was Euyfura's only comment.

"Well keep back next time, silly Rogue!" SweetSpearGirl said.

Euyfura muttered something rude which the Amazon didn't hear, as they approached the Kurast Causeway.

To run into Zealot minions and their Hierophant boss Devil Call the Shade (extra strong), as well as other Hierophants. Eeeek...

Finally, just before the Travincal waypoint, they encountered another boss Hierophant. This one was Black Venom (multiple shot) and spewed lightning everywhere until SweetSpearGirl stuck him full of holes. His drop was typically nondescript, which sucked. Oh well... the High Council were next up, anyway, and they would be evil...

First up was a minion, followed by Ismail Vilehand. He dropped Khalim's Flail, which SweetSpearGirl grabbed, throwing up another decoy. Another minion followed, then Geleb Flamefinger (extra strong, fire enchanted). Another decoy. Another minion. Finally Toorc Icefist (cold enchanted, stone skin) went down. The Council were dead! Now all that remained was to go into the Swers after Khalim's Heart, and then go after Mephisto!

SweetSpearGirl and Euyfura entered the sewers via the Kurast Bazaar entrance. Euyfura's only comment was "Ick!", but a pack of Preserved Dead, a few Undead Soul Killers and Icehawk Riftwing (gloombat, extra strong, cold enchanted) later, the way down to level 2 was in front of them. Which was small, stuffed full of loot-full chests, and guarded only by Stygian Watchers and Blood Wings ("damn mosquitoes" again...)

And Khalim's Heart was in a glowing chest. SweetSpearGirl quickly transmuted the bits, equipped Khalim's Will, and opened the way to Mephisto's Durance! (There was a lone Council minion hanging around, which our heroes wasted...)

Their first encounter was Pulse Fester (mana burn), a boss Undead Stygian Doll, and friends. They still hurt when they exploded, but otherwise were no trouble. SweetSpearGirl was very close to levelling, too, and Dark Lords and Maulers crowded them as they worked their way down. She levelled shortly after saying a Dark Lord boss and a Champion Mauler, plugging another five points into Strength. Cadavers joined the usual suspects on level 2, as did the waypoint. Then... it was down to meet Mephisto...

Bremm Sparkfist (lightning enchanted, unholy fire aura) put up a fight. But died. As did his minions and his Blood Lord friends. Then it was onwards. Unfortunately the Blood Lords were so thickly clustered, and did so much damage with their firewalls that Euyfura went down in seconds and SweetSpearGirl didn't have enough gold to revive her - or for repairs! A blue Horned Helm dropped by Bremm helped, though.

Maffer Dragonhand (extra strong, extra fast) was a wuss by comparison. He went down easy, and then it was on - to Mephisto himself!

"YOU'RE TOO LATE!" he howled as he spotted them, but SweetSpearGirl was already stabbing him as she yelled "Well it's too late for YOU!" Euyfura went down fast - but so did he. Hitting SweetSpearGirl hard and chilling her during the fight, but he went down. SweetSpearGirl used his loot (four yellow items!) to revive Euyfura and make repairs, and finally - it was farewell to Kurast!

"And good riddance," Euyfura muttered as they stepped through the Durance portal...


	12. Assault On The Burning Hells

SWEETSPEARGIRL RETURNS

Chapter 12  
Assault On The Burning Hells

Cast of Characters  
- SweetSpearGirl, Jabazon Beyond Compare  
- Euyfura, the Mighty Merc  
- Izual  
- HeyFatso the Arser  
- Diablo, the Lord of Terror

TAKE HEED AND BEAR WITNESS TO THE TRUTHS THAT LIE HEREIN, FOR THEY ARE THE LAST LEGACY OF THE HORADRIM...

After a well-deserved rest, their bedrolls spread out on the chill marble floor of the Pandemonium Fortress, SweetSpearGirl and Euyfura prepared to venture into Hell. SweetSpearGirl set up a Decoy outside the gate and soon attracted a pair of Flesh Spawners and their young, as well as a solitary Doom Caster. Despite the way down to the Plains of Despair being very near the Fortress gates, they declined the invitation in favour of clearing the Outer Steppes. As SweetSpearGirl said, "I need the experience!"

Back and forth they ranged, slaughtering packs of Doom Knights and other beasties. The experience gain was negligible, sady, and SweetSpearGirl soon decided to move on.

"Let's blow this gaff," she said. "There's bugger-all room in my backpack, I can't even amass enough gold to pay for repairs, and I need to level up fast!"

"You'll get no argument from me, boss!" Euyfura said as they fought their way back towards the steps downwards. Near them, they finally encountered a boss - the only one of the area, Devil Call the Shade (flesh spawner; fire enchanted).

"Does he really call the Devil?" Euyfura mused as she shot him.

"He'd better not! I'm not ready to fight Diablo yet!" was the reply.

At the entrance to the Plains they encountered another Flesh Spawner boss, Bone Brow (teleportation), whose minions and their spawn clustered thickly at the base of the stairs and took a few minutes to be separated and destroyed. "Onward and downward," muttered SweetSpearGirl. "I hear this Izual fellow has quite a wallop..."

"You're so optimistic," Euyfura snarked.

More Flesh Spawners and Doom Knights were joined by Burning Souls, whose lightning attacks were painful but not particularly dangerous, and whose mana-draining abilities were plain annoying. Izual appeared, flanked by a quintet of Doom Knights, and chilled SweetSpearGirl badly before she pulled out through a town portal.

"We need a strategy," she said.

"I need a new bow," Euyfura griped.

"Here, have this one," SweetSpearGirl said, tossing the Rogue a Long War Bow of Fire. "OK, so you lose life steal, but it does give you a nice damage boost."

"Cool," Euyfura said with a grin. "NOW we need a strategy."

"Well, all I can think of is, spam Decoy and hit him hard till he dies!"

"That works."

So that was exactly what they did. And before long, Izual's spirit was drifting off on the winds. And Tyrael was granting SweetSpearGirl two skill points which she plugged into Decoy (it being a very useful skill).

They fought their way around the edge of the Plains, battling badly-behaved beasties every step of the way, until they reached the next set of stairs down, into the City of the Damned. Cautiously inching their way around the edge, they encountered - oddly enough - Damned, backed up by Maw Fiends (who spat corpses in jelly-like masses, which prompted an 'Ick!' from Euyfura). Though they hit hard and hurt, they went down easy, and our intrepid duo pressed on. They found the waypoint and, seeing no reason to delay, headed down into the River of Flame. This was home to Grotesques (cousins of the Flesh Spawners), as well as a boss pack of Venom Lords led by Black Snarl (cursed), whose fiery inferno attack hurt as SweetSpearGirl's resists - quite frankly - sucked.

Along an arm of the River, Euyfura teased out a big fat bastard - Hephasto the Armourer - who despite giving SweetSpearGirl a hefty wallop with his Malus, was soon kissing tarmac. They discovered a pack of Abyss Knights and a couple of Stranglers had been paying HeyFatso a social call, and there were so many Grotesques clustered around the Hellforge itself that our heroes had to make a strategic withdrawal. Suitably refreshed and fortified in town, they returned and beat the living daylights out of their foes, thanks in part to an Armour Shrine nearby. SweetSpearGirl placed Mephisto's soulstone on the anvil and with one sound blow from HeyFatso's Malus, shattered it. And that - aside from picking up the gems - was that.

Back to the fight. Stranglers and Abyss Knights menaced them, cold projectiles flying through the air; Grotesques spawning their Wyrms everywhere. SweetSpearGirl and Euyfura fought furiously. The Rogue levelled to 26 during one of the frays, SweetSpearGirl finding herself a good deal closer to 27 and wishing it'd hurry up! Several times they had to retreat for healing and the like before returning to the fray, but return they always did to wreak vengeance upon Hell's legions.

Finally, there lay the waypoint. Twinkling back to town for healing and repairs, SweetSpearGirl turned to Euyfura. "I suppose you want a break now?"

"Just for a few. I think we both want to see Diablo sent back to Hell for good!"

"Nice one Rogue," SweetSpearGirl grinned.

On they went, casting Decoys and slaughtering enemies wherever they found them. A three-socketed Short War Bow dropped, which SweetSpearGirl plugged a flawless skull, standard ruby and sapphire into for Euyfura. "There you go. Life leech back again."

"w00t," Euyfura grinned.

By now they had reached the gate of the Chaos Sanctuary. SweetSpearGirl threw up another Decoy to distract the Oblivion Knights, while she and Euyfura took out their Doom Knight buddies. Someone cast Amp Damage but that didn't matter much. A boss pack of Venom Lords led by Bone First the Mad (fire enchanted) awaited them just inside; he dropped a Berserker's Hauberk which sold for a decent sum, giving SweetSpearGirl enough money for repairs and some more pots.

More Venom Lords and Doom Knights approached, led by four Oblivion Knights lobbing fire and poison missiles. Someone cast Iron Maiden and SweetSpearGirl stood well back until one of the others cast something else. Storm Casters followed, doing their annoying mana-draining trick, but were little more than a hindrance otherwise. A Venom Lord dropped a gold broad axe which identified as Goreshovel, but for obvious reasons it was useless except as an extra bit of money for repairs.

The enemies became more numerous and troublesome as they worked their way deeper into the Sanctuary. Oblivion Knights became more and more of a pain in the butt; as Euyfura remarked, "Buggers."

Finally, halfway through a pack of Doom Knights, SweetSpearGirl levelled to 27! She immediately grabbed her Tannr Gorerod, and prepared to set about her foes with her new-found power...

Given the situation, it was inevitable that an Iron Maiden curse would eventually catch her in the middle of a Jab cycle. This it did - and a corpse-recovery run followed.

"This sucks," she grumbled, resurrecting the Rogue. "Bastards!"

She noticed that she could, however, equip her new +1 to skills+3 to minimum damage+17 to life amulet. OK, the loss of resists wasn't good - but she hoped like hell she could make that up somewhere else. The intrepid duo battled their way through a huge pack of Knights to activate the first Seal.

Lord de Seis (extra strong, fanaticism aura) appeared down the passageway, but for all his apparent strength, he was defenceless once his minions were lured out of aura range. He got off a Life Tap curse but went down before he could make anything of it. SweetSpearGirl and Euyfura grinned at each other and moved on.

Next up - the Grand Vizier of Chaos (extra strong, fire enchanted). Almost as much of a wuss, especially when separated from his minions! Considering the only real trouble SweetSpearGirl was having now, was with the Oblivion Knights, she was wondering now if it wasn't all becoming too easy - and how mean Diablo himself would be...

Another arm, another pack of OKies and Venom Lords. SweetSpearGirl snagged a combat shrine but since she got cursed straight away after, it wasn't much use! Working their way downwards, triggering another Seal, and then there was the last one. SweetSpearGirl trggered it and out popped the Infector of Souls (extra fast, and something else she didn't catch at the time). His minions surrounded her and Euyfura, breathing fire all over them, and they only survived by portalling out pretty damn sharpish.

"River waypoint?" Euyfura said.

"Hell yes. No way I'm going back through that portal!"

SweetSpearGirl snagged the combat shrine again, and they were able to pull the Infector (whose other attribute was spectral hit) and a stray minion onto a Decoy. Then they drew the remaining minions out, one by one. Easy as pie.

The air acquired a red glow. The Chaos Sanctuary shook. A thunderous voice spoke.

"NOT EVEN DEATH CAN SAVE YOU FROM ME!"

SweetSpearGirl shook her head at the sheer arrogance. "Well not even my death can save YOU!" she cried, darting forward towards the huge red lizard.

And died. Without even getting a single hit in. Diablo had thrown a stream of red lightning at her, and her life had gone from 267 to 0 in less than two seconds.

She needed help.

Fortunately a generous sorceress dropped by, lending aid (and Static Field) until finally Diablo went down! He dropped Tancred's Crowbill, some other nondescript gear, and a rare helm - which had two sockets and some fire resist! SweetSpearGirl squealed and grabbed it, slapping Ort and Thul runes into it to boost her other resists.

Onward - to Harrogath!


	13. Up The Airy Mountain

SWEETSPEARGIRL RETURNS

Chapter 13  
Up The Airy Mountain

TAKE HEED AND BEAR WITNESS TO THE TRUTHS THAT LIE HEREIN, FOR THEY ARE THE LAST LEGACY OF THE HORADRIM...

After the hot, oppressive atmosphere of Hell, SweetSpearGirl and Euyfura were happy to breathe the crisp, clear air on the slopes of Mount Arreat. Of course, as Cain said, "the sands of time slow for no one!", and it was soon time to head out to fight Baal's armies.

"And his sleevies," Euyfura muttered under her breath, prompting SweetSpearGirl to give her a playful swat.

They both knew what to expect in the Bloody Foothills - Enslaved and Death Maulers guarding catapults. Euyfura was often able to shoot down packs of Maulers from across the spike-filled trenches and the intrepid duo's experience bar went up, and up...

SweetSpearGirl found that, on the whole, she took more damage from the poison missiles of the catapults than she did from the monsters, although she was running out of mana a lot!

"This thing," she said, referring to her Tannr Gorerod, "does lovely damage, but I miss my mana leech!"

Back and forth across the Foothills they ranged, making sure the whole area was cleared of bad-tempered beasts. There were many Barbarian fighters in the Foothills and SweetSpearGirl helped protect them, knowing they'd assist with monster cleanup. They were needed around halfway up the Foothills when our heroes encountered Dac Farren (teleporting imp, cold enchanted), whose death nova was surprisingly strong and chilled SweetSpearGirl to the bone! She had to wait a few while Euyfura and the barbarians cleared up the minions!

No-one and nothing deigned to cough up anything more interesting than a flawed diamond and Eld rune, and it was "Onward and upward" as they moved towards Shenk the Overseer (fat bastard, extra strong). SweetSpearGirl levelled to 28 just as they located him and veered off to find some unexplored areas to clear and to allocate her new points - 5 Dex, 1 more point in Jab. Then it was back to Shenk the Fat Git, who died easy. Oddly enough, a fussilade of catapult missiles opened up on the spot, despite all the catapults having been destroyed... Shenk dropped a purple, which cubed with two others and gave SweetSpearGirl a nice phat purple. The rest of his drop was unremarkable, serving only to pay for repairs.

A few more Death Maulers and there was the Frigid Highlands waypoint.

And there also was a very nippy Enslaved boss, Eldritch the RectumFryer (extra fast), who thanks to a well-placed decoy, went down easy. He dropped a Battle Staff - no good for anyone except a sorceress, but did sell for an astonishing amount of gold.

Sadly, Enslaved were thin on the ground in the Highlands, which seemed mainly swarming with those damn teleporting imps and their Crush Beast mounts... the only other living things in the area were imprisoned Barbarians that Qual-Kehk and Malah both wanted home (so SweetSpearGirl, thanks to her naturally kind nature, set them free and sent them home...)

There was a red portal to Abaddon, a River of Flame-like hell pit, in the Highlands, so out of a desire for loot and experience they went through it.

"Gaah! More imps!" SweetSpearGirl yelled as they ran into packs of Demon Rascals.

Euyfura was amused. "You really don't like those, do you?"

"They're so annoying!" the Spearazon responded.

Also present were Blood Lords (no relation to the fire-throwing undead of Mephisto's Durance) and a pack of minion Slayers led by a Shenk-alike fat git, Haze Burn the Axe (mana burn). The Blood Lords hit hard, and SweetSpearGirl often found herself downing mana potions to keep up her Decoy and keep them off her while she worked! She levelled to 29 shortly after fighting the fat git boss, and hopped back to town to see what fresh gear she could use.

She'd definitely been wanting to try out the Peace-runeword armour, as well as the String of Ears. She donned both and felt her abilities soaring. She grinned.

"Time to go forth and kick ass!"

Abaddon's last gasp was a lone imp guarding a glowing chest filled with loot, and then it was back to the Highlands, where more imps and Crush Beasts awaited. And where - finally - the Ubiquitous Valk returned to SweetSpearGirl's side! Admittedly, mind you, the first thing she said on appearing was, "Oh no, not you again."

Up and down the trio ranged, skewering, shooting and generally slaying all manner of badly-behaved beasties. The Valk expired on a regular basis, but as Euyfura remarked, "Just like old times, eh?"

Finally they encountered the final group of imprisoned Barbs, and guarding them, yet another fat git - Sharptooth Slayer - and his Ice Boar minions, as well as a veritable swarm of imps and so forth. Sharptooth dropped a decent yellow Ghost Armour which SweetSpearGirl gave to Euyfura, and then nothing lived in the Frigid Highlands aside from our intrepid adventurers.

Entering the Arreat Plateau, on the other hand, they were met by a band of Slayers, more imps, and Death Mauler minions led by Eyeback the Unleashed (extra strong, extra fast). They all died, of course - but so did the Valk. Again. It was, at any rate, an opportune moment to head back to town. Qual-Kehk was happy to have his boys back and showed his gratitude in runes, while Malah shared some dark suspicions about the fate of the disappeared Anya...

Back on the Plateau, the Slayers were often led by Lashers, cousins of Shenk and co, who whipped their followers into a frenzy causing them to explode. "Damn suicide bombers," SweetSpearGirl muttered in frustration when one blew up right next to her. Euyfura on the other hand, the lucky wench, seemed completely unaffected by the explosions, not a hair on her head out of place!

"Some Rogues have all the luck," the amazon said, stabbing another imp and ignoring its useless drop (arrows. Sigh...)

The waypoint was near, but so was level 30, so "Onward and upward!" SweetSpearGirl cried, while Euyfura just rolled her eyes and said, "Onward and DOWN if you don't watch out!" as a few Slayer minions hove into view. They were led by Moon Eye, a lightning-enchanted lasher, whose charged bolts hurt! SweetSpearGirl's lightning resistance was her weakest, but she had no choice but to grit her teeth and go to it.

BING! she hit level 30 and could summon her own Valk, instead of relying on the chance to cast of her armour...

There was another Hell pit in the area, the Pit of Acheron, so driven by curiosity SweetSpearGirl took a look. It was populated by Ice Boars and Overlords, as well as Night Lords - nothing too strenuous, just a nice little challenge. At least - until the Hell Lord boss pack barrelled out! Moon Bite the Dark (cursed) took out Euyfura with a few blows and if it wasn't for Valk and Decoy, SweetSpearGirl may have ended up kissing basalt too! Fortunately, there were no other nasty surprises in store and soon they stood by the glowing chest, which contained a nice lot of booty.

"Well, I think we did well," smiled SweetSpearGirl.

Euyfura just swatted her Amazon's ass and the Valk just glowed...


	14. A Day Of Rest

SWEETSPEARGIRL RETURNS

Chapter 14  
A Day Of Rest

Cast of Characters:  
- SweetSpearGirl, the Hung-Over Amazon  
- Euyfura, the Equally Hung-Over Merc  
- Lady FrequentCast, the Ubiquitous Valk

TAKE HEED AND BEAR WITNESS TO THE TRUTHS THAT LIE HEREIN, FOR THEY ARE THE LAST LEGACY OF THE HORADRIM...

When SweetSpearGirl and Euyfura woke, hung over from the night's celebrations with the Barbarians, the party was still going on. Blearily, our heroes looked around, hunting for someone who could get them coffee ("strong. Black. I don't care what's in it," Euyfura stated categorically), but all they could see - and hear - were northerners having a good time! Malah was dancing (badly) with Qual-Kehk, several tenors and a bass were singing some kind of battle hymn about - oh Gods - "she Jabs them here, she Jabs them there" (SweetSpearGirl was about ready to just go back to bed!), and Nihlathak was stood behind a hastily cobbled together stall, dispensing something he called "Nilly's Special Brew".

"Have a hair of the demon that stuck an axe up you?" he offered, but both SweetSpearGirl and Euyfura declined, suddenly feeling the urge to go and be hung-over in the loo...

Later, as they slowly recovered (having to make themselves coffee), they reviewed their progress. For once, it was all good news.

"Well, I've now got 22 of life steal," SweetSpearGirl mused, "a crapload of damage... oh yes, the Valk's back..." - the glowing minion looked round briefly and shouted, "Yeah baby!"

Euyfura shook her head in part amusement, part exasperation. "We were doing OK before," she said.

"Oh sure, but the Valk's useful. I mean, how many times have we been facing down a nasty boss pack when I've run out of mana? Or worse, been out of potions? And remember Duriel..."

Euyfura shuddered. That had been bad. As had Mephisto and Diablo, but not as bad as Duriel!

The Rogue critically examined her gear. "OK, so it's not terrible - but there must be better bows around, surely?"

"Well," SweetSpearGirl said, "I do have a family friend who has a rather nice Magewrath. But you'll need to be level 43 to use it."

"Sounds good. Not that far away, right?"

"Careful, you're starting to sound optimistic!" SweetSpearGirl said with a grin and a wink.

"Better watch that then, hadn't I?" Euyfura laughed.

"Hey," SweetSpearGirl said, "how about we head out for a bit? Nothing too strenuous, just blow away the cobwebs. And shake off that Special Brew!"

"Don't remind me," Euyfura said. "I don't know what Nihlathak puts in that stuff, but I'm sure I could taste the Flame Spider venom... argh. I never believed the stories about Harrogath Ale till now! Frigid Highlands waypoint?"

"Sure."

They pulled on their gear and headed out, first for a quick warm-up with Eldritch and Shenk, then to the Arreat Plateau where they took a spin through the Pit of Acheron again. Nothing too bad, except for the obligatory Hell Lord boss (this time Wind Blister, extra strong), but he and his minions got stuck on a bridge and so one by one went down easy. The golden chest contained a decent amount of loot, but nothing major.

Back out on the Plateau they fought Slayers and Lashers again (and a few imps for good measure). The local Lasher boss was a complete wuss - Seethe Venom the Witch (cursed) went down faster than Wind Blister, and even Thresh Socket (crush beast, also cursed) at the Crystalline Passage entrance, was little more than a minor hindrance.

SweetSpearGirl had planned to call it a day there - especially since she'd levelled to 31 on killing Seethe Venom, boosting her Jab to 23 - but the Crystalline Passage was inviting. And a few Stygian Harlots and Frozen Creepers later (the latter breathing coldly on her, but no harm done after all), the waypoint showed up, very close to the entrance.

And they'd hardly even broken a sweat.

"How'd'you feel now, Rogue?" the spearazon asked.

"Ah, much better. Something about the mountain air really clears the head."

"I know what you mean. I always liked it here."

They headed back to town, selling loot and stashing gems and stuff (the most notable drop had been an Amn rune, from a barrel near Thresh Socket's little hangout).

"Can't believe the party is STILL going on," Euyfura commented.

"Well, we did stop the siege, kill Baal's big general guy, and bring home a bunch of lost Barb choirboys, so I figure they're gonna want to get hammered for a while!"

"True. Hey, about this Anya they want us to find - "

"Let's not worry about that today. Besides, I've heard a few questionable things about Anya. Ever hear about that business with the Large Shield?"

"...Oh yes," Euyfura said slowly, an unpleasant memory surfacing. "I heard about that last time we were round these parts."

"Yup. So I think she can spend another day lost, don't you?"

"Sure."

They settled back and relaxed, drinking more coffee while the people of Harrogath partied till the sun went down.


	15. The Stupidity Of Anya

SWEETSPEARGIRL RETURNS

Chapter 15  
The Stupidity Of Anya

Cast Of Characters:  
- SweetSpearGirl, the Mighty Jabazon, aiming for Lycander's Flank  
- Euyfura, the Crazy Merc, now equipped with a Zephyr'd Edge Bow  
- The Ubiquitous Valk

TAKE HEED AND BEAR WITNESS TO THE TRUTHS THAT LIE HEREIN, FOR THEY ARE THE LAST LEGACY OF THE HORADRIM...

After some trading, SweetSpearGirl had managed to garner a couple of runes, a two-socketed Edge Bow and a Shaftstop for Euyfura. Plugging the Ort and Eth in place, she haded her Rogue the new weapon and watched the grin spread across Euyfura's face as her damage soared. SweetSpearGirl had also solo'd her way to the Glacial Trail waypoint during a sleepless night, and now she donned her battle gear again.

"We hunting up Anya today or what?" Euyfura asked.

"Oh, if we must," SweetSpearGirl said. "But if she insists on desecrating my gear like she did with that shield, I won't be held responsible for the consequences!"

Blinking into existence at the Crystalline Passage, it wasn't long before they ran into trouble. Moon Lords, backed up by Stygian Harlots and then a moonie boss pack hove into view. Moon Ripper the Sharp was lightning-enchanted and hit hard to boot; Euyfura went down for the first time in ages and SweetSpearGirl had to recast the Valk as she grimly ploughed her way through the enemies who surrounded her, until finally they bit the dust (with a little help from Decoys and a resurrected Euyfura).

Round a corner - WHAM! - they were met by Champion Moon Lords who surrounded them! SweetSpearGirl had to quickly down a mana potion, throwing up Decoys here and there - and then there were no more moonies and the intrepid trio entered the Frozen River. Beset by Rot Walkers ("I wish they'd just Rot and stop Walking!" SweetSpearGirl said as she put one down after it got up for the third time) and Blood Temptresses, the experience bar rose steadily... Abominables barred their way and SweetSpearGirl levelled to 32, finally maxing her Jab and laying the smacketh down on another pack of badly behaved beasties. They slew Seethe Pox (cold enchanted, cold immune) and his pack of Frozen Terrors; swiftly followed by some Blood Temptresses led by Haze Rend the Unholy (extra fast). Out swarmed big packs of monstrosities across the narrow bridges, swiftly punctured by Euyfura's arrows and SweetSpearGirl's speartip. Selling off the loot back in town, Cain expressed his doubts about Nihlathak - who seemed to have conveniently disappeared!

"No more Special Brew then!" SweetSpearGirl said.

"And that's a BAD thing?" Euyfura exclaimed as they portalled back to the battleground.

"I don't know, I don't remember much after we started drinking the stuff last time!"

Frozenstein (cold enchanted, mana burn) guarded an icy platform where Anya, frozen in an ice-block, shivered. "N-N-Nihlllaththak..." she said between chattering teeth. "M-m-mal-lah..." SweetSpearGirl and Euyfura were a little busy slaying beasties at the time, but once they'd dispatched them, it was time to unfreeze the frozen. Malah had something whipped up specially.

"Wonder what amazing 'gift' the little witch has for us this time!" SweetSpearGirl snorted.

"Uh huh. At least you get that resistance scroll from Malah, eh?"

"True. I could use a resist boost. As always."

SweetSpearGirl was in fact happy to see her resists boosted to a healthy level (all except poison, which didn't matter so much for now anyway). As predicted, however, Anya's gift was suitably dire. She read the stats off the weapon for Euyfura as they sat with their backs to the stash.

"Carrion Dart  
Maiden Spear  
Required Level: 15  
5 Chance to Cast Level 3 Fire Bolt on Striking  
+1 to Javelin and Spear Skills (Amazon Only)  
+1 to Minimum Damage  
Fire Resist +10  
Repairs 1 Durability in 33 Seconds"

NB. won't let me use percentage signs for some stupid crazy reason, so the stats on items won't show up properly! Grrrrr...

Euyfura was incredulous. "WTF?" was her response. "That's even worse than usual!"

"Uh huh. You gonna thrash her, or shall I?"

"Wait a while and see if she's gonna repeat the shield incident too," the Rogue replied. "You know, Shikha and Kyle still gossip about it."

"I'm not surprised. I really ought to catch up with Kitsilan one of these days. Last I heard, she was haranguing Tyrael over the Worldstone and his portal thingy."

"Nothing changes much, eh?" Euyfura remarked.

"You said it, Rogue!"

SweetSpearGirl sold Anya's weapon to Larzuk for a couple of thousand in gold. Tomorrow there'd be plenty of time to hunt down Nihlathak and smack him around for not making any more of his Special Brew.


	16. Unexpected Victory

SWEETSPEARGIRL RETURNS

Chapter 16  
Unexpected Victory

Cast of Characters:  
- SweetSpearGirl, swiftly levelling towards her goal...  
- Euyfura, sarcastic as ever  
- Miss Frequently Recast 2006, the Ubiquitous Valk  
- Nihlathak, the Fallen Necromancer  
- Anya, Defacer of Shields  
- Korlic the Protector  
- Talic the Defender  
- Madawc the Guardian  
- Baal, the Lord of Destruction

TAKE HEED AND BEAR WITNESS TO THE TRUTHS THAT LIE HEREIN, FOR THEY ARE THE LAST LEGACY OF THE HORADRIM...

The next morning was bright and crisp, although the leaden sky promised yet more snow on the slopes of Arreat. SweetSpearGirl considered her options; having levelled to 34 on a solo excursion, she decided a few more levels were needed before the crew pressed on toward Nihlathak.

"Come on Rogue," she said. "Let's lay into a few buggers in the Trail."

"Sure. Where's the Valk?"

"Trying to chat up Qual-Kehk. It's that shiny armour of his, she can't stay away!"

The Rogue snorted. "Good grief. Grab the silly bint and let's go."

The trio waypointed to the Glacial Trail and SweetSpearGirl threw a Decoy up ahead. It soon attracted some attention. Star Eye (fire enchanted Reanimated Horde) was soon followed up by a pack of Champion Abominables, but all were dispatched with ease as our heroes moved on into the Drifter Cavern. A small area delineated by chill, softly bubbling water, flowing down the mountain into the Frozen River, the Cavern was filled with packs of Snow Drifters and Frozen Terrors (the latter led by Vile Bender the Quick - extra fast; the former by Pulse Dancer - fire enchanted).

"These buggers go down easy," SweetSpearGirl commented.

"And give good exp too," Euyfura shot back.

"Oh yes. I think we're done here. Crystalline Passage?"

"Why not? It's not like I'll get any colder than I am already!"

"Hush, you. You'll corrupt the Valk. I'll get you some better armour when I can, I know that ring mail's a bit chilly even if it does have cold resist on it."

Onward and downward it was, into the Crystalline Passage, where they encountered a pack of moonies whose slaying boosted SweetSpearGirl up to level 35. "Nice!" she grinned, slapping five more points into Strength (out of the twenty she needed for that long-awaited Lycander's Flank, only seven levels away now...). And the extra few points of damage were welcome, too, against Bone Rend, who was stone skin and kicked SweetSpearGirl in the face.

"Hey!" she yelled, and rammed the business end of her Tannr Gorerod up the harpy's fundament. "No-one kicks me and gets away with it!"

"I notice you let them get away with kicking me though," the Valk put in.

"That's different. I don't lose gold if you get your butt whipped."

The Valk muttered something rude in a half-forgotten language and stabbed another moonie that charged out from a side passage.

The trio finished clearing the Passage, and just for the hell of it, wandered into the Frozen River. The chill waters flowing downwards from the Drifter Cavern lapped softly against the icy ledges, and then SweetSpearGirl saw a boss charging towards them.

"Yuck!" she commented at its name - Puke Feast (!); lightning-enchanted too. "I didn't need that image! And nor do I need - " as a stray bolt went BZZZ into her leg - "that!" She laid into her foe and then the Succubus was gone. SweetSpearGirl wiped her brow before recasting the Valk - who spawned with some nice cold-resistant armour - into the middle of Frozenstein's boys. And then there were no more buggers.

"Where to next?" the spearazon enquired of her companions.

"Somewhere in the fresh air!" Euyfura said.

"Hmmm... well there was a stairway up and out of the Glacial Trail. Let's see if we can find that again."

As it turned out, the stairs did lead out into the open air - into the Frozen Tundra, filled with clumps of trees and containing a very nearby waypoint. SweetSpearGirl wasn't ready to quit yet though - she wanted to hit level 42 today and take up her favourite weapon again! So it was onward and upward, charging through errant packs of those damn teleporting imps (again!) and the usual barricades and towers. Catapults lobbed elemental death; SweetSpearGirl closed in on them and destroyed them. Imps chittered, teleporting back and forth with a vwhomp sound, and spat fire; SweetSpearGirl distracted them while Euyfura filled them with fire arrows. And then they found the entrance to the Ancients' Way.

"Shall we?" SweetSpearGirl said.

"Lead the way!" said Euyfura.

The Valk was humming a tune and said nothing.

The Ancients Way(point) was conveniently located near the entrance; what wasn't so convenient was several moonie bosses in the area. First up was Bile Wing the Quick (cursed), who not only bumped SweetSpearGirl up to level 36 but also dropped a green item! Sigon's Shelter wasn't any use to anyone, but it did pad SweetSpearGirl's nest egg by almost 19k in gold. Which was good, because she needed a few repairs after the next boss - Death Dancer the Dark (cold enchanted).

"Damn moonies," she muttered as it went down and chilled her to the bone.

Driven by some sort of suicidal impulse, she let herself down into the Icy Cellar where the three adventurers were soon having fun with one - no , two - no, three, boss packs! Two packs of Hell Temptresses led by Dire Killer the Hunter (stone skin) and Plague Shank the Dead (extra fast), whose name SweetSpearGirl made very true, very quickly - were followed by Snapchip Shatter and his Frozen Scourge minions. A nasty amp damage curse and cold enchantment were not an amusing combination and SweetSpearGirl and co had to pull back for a moment to drink potions while Euyfura peppered the slow-moving demons with arrows. Finally they went down and the Cellar was clear. Snapchip dropped a rare amulet which, while useless to everyone in the party, did provide 29k in gold...

And finally they stood by the stairs up to the very summit of Mount Arreat.

"Sure you two want to come with me?" the amazon queried.

"Look," Euyfura said. "Usually I avoid the sappy stuff, you know me, I'm a cynic through and through. But I've stuck with you through everything. This'll be the fourth time we've been through this, and I've always stayed with you. And I think we both know why."

SweetSpearGirl nodded. "Yeah. The same reason I always feel bad about dragging you into these fights in the first place!"

"Well, don't, okay? I know what I'm doing. Trust me."

SweetSpearGirl threw up a portal for safety, and they ventured up the stairs. She cast a Decoy and read from the altar, stepping back as the Ancients swirled into glowing, fighting life.

"Yowza!" she cried as Madawc threw an axe at her! She ignored him for now and concentrated on Korlic, who was right there in her face as the Valk fended Talic off. As soon as she'd dealt with the former, she turned to her next adversary, whose life bar was already well down, just as the Decoy went POP...

Finally only Madawc was left. He'd been kept busy by Euyfura, who was holding up well against his flying axes. The three of them ganged up on him and BOOM, he was gone too. SweetSpearGirl was boosted to level 37 and started for the entrance to the Worldstone Keep, deep within the mountain's heart.

"Wait!" Euyfura yelled. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

"I can see you're okay from here," SweetSpearGirl smirked.

"No, not that, you idiot! Nihlathak!"

"Oh. Bugger. Do we have to?"

"Anya will be well pissed off if we don't. Besides, it's more experience, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess so. Okay. Let's go."

SweetSpearGirl plugged some more points into Strength, realising as she did so that at level 37 she could heft a Hone Sundan. OK, so some idiot had plugged some crappy gems into it, but it would be a better proposition than the Gorerod now. Faster, too...

She hefted the spear, marvelling at how good it felt to have a new weapon. Someone had dropped a Shael rune, too, so she plugged that into the open socket of the waiting Lycander's... and stepped through Anya's portal.

A good omen, maybe - Pindleskin dropped a Brainhew. Gold items good! Useless gold items still give hope! SweetSpearGirl smiled, thinking "Skystrike for Rogue..." as they entered the Halls of Anguish. They fought their way through Night Lords and such, noticing various unholy altars and wondering who built this place before Nihlathak started using it as his base of operations from which to summon undead beasties and conspire with the Big Bad...

Descending through the halls of Anguish and Pain, they fought their way through various badly-behaved beasties, SweetSpearGirl slashing and Jabbing, the Valk venting battle-cries and lancing their foes, Euyfura's arrows unerringly finding their targets. The trio laying waste to huge numbers of monsters and leaving nothing but the destruction of Evil in their wake. Prowling Dead and Death Slashers and Defilers all fell to their attacks, none of our heroes worried in the slightest. SweetSpearGirl and Euyfura even raising their voices in a battle song as they fought, finding the Halls of Pain waypoint, and then, "Onward and downward!" the speargirl cried.

(Even Star Snarl - cold enchanted - hadn't been enough to slow down their advance...)

Euyfura grinned and followed, into the Halls of Vaught.

There was a welcoming committe, of course - a committee soon lying face-down in the dirt while three adventurers raced on, relentlessly, toward their goal. A Dragon Chang spear came out of a tomb ("could've used that back in the Monastery!" SweetSpearGirl commented), which sold for, well, not very much really... so they pressed on towards Nihlathak.

"I still hope he passed on his recipe for that Special Brew," SweetSpearGirl mused.

Euyfura raised an eyebrow. "If I ever have to see that stuff again, I'll pour the lot of it down your back!"

"Nah. We'll be drinking it! You'll just have to make do with hot water for our baths," the spearazon smirked.

"Smartass," the Rogue shot back.

"You know it! That's the way you like me!"

SweetSpearGirl levelled to 38 as they approached a long corridor. Casting a Decoy down it, she heard snarling, and then the abrupt squelching POP of a corpse exploding.

"That's him!" she yelled. "After him! Follow that Necro!"

Casting more Decoys ahead, they raced towards the sound. Ice Spawn swarmed around them, only to die and then explode messily. Finally the area was clear enough for SweetSpearGirl to pin her teleporting Necromantic foe against a wall.

"I will keep my end of Baal's bargain!" he cried.

"Only if you give me that Special Brew recipe first!" SweetSpearGirl snarled.

Nihlathak just laughed. "I will kill you!" he cried.

SweetSpearGirl laid into him. "I doubt it, somehow," she said as he fell, his screaming soul pulled down into a glowing pit of Hell which shut with a snap. "No, I don't think so at all."

Euyfura was at her shoulder. "No recipe, eh?"

"Ha! He took it with him, the sod."

"Oh well. You drunk isn't a sight I want to see often anyway. Except at Atma's."

"I guess. Why can't the world let us stay in Lut Gholein? It's so warm and peaceful and beautiful there."

"You'd die of boredom eventually," Euyfura said. "And you know how the Valk irritates Greiz."

"Screw him," SweetSpearGirl said forcefully.

"Ew. No thanks!"

They headed back to town. Nihlathak had already given the Relic to Baal (Anya was not happy!)and Baal had passed into the Keep, but they knew that already from the Ancients. It was time. Time to end this.

They entered the Worldstone Keep, fighting yet more waves of monsters. The second level tended towards exploding hell spawn, whose odd detonations both chilled and burned SweetSpearGirl, yet had no effect on Euyfura and the Valk.

"Guess it's our natural charm," the Rogue smirked, and SweetSpearGirl blew a raspberry at her before stepping onto the waypoint. The next level down contained Death Lords ("more damn moonies," muttered SweetSpearGirl), as well as yet more of those teleporting imps! Sadly, the most remarkable drop was a Nef rune, but SweetSpearGirl kept it anyway (as she said, "a rune's a rune!").

Onward into Baal's throne room in the bottom of the Keep. The air was hot and the walls red as they approached the very site of the Worldstone. Baal's laughter echoed off the walls as they fought. He threw packs of his minions at them - Colenzo the Annihilator (warped shamen, fire enchanted and something else) was first up, but died so quickly SweetSpearGirl didn't even catch his other attribute.

Baal laughed again. Down came Achmel the Cursed (immune to poison). The poison he and his buddies spewed was incredibly potent, knocking SweetSpearGirl's health down to almost nothing very fast. Baal decrep'd her as she tried to run, and she had to down a potion as a Death Mage cold missile slowed her even further! Finally, they turned their attention to the Valk and let her get in behind, knocking them down one by one until they were all gone.

Up came sudden Hydras shooting firebolts at our heroes. Bartuc the Bloody (lightning enchanted) sent his Council minions swarming around and was soon going BZZZBZZZ as SweetSpearGirl hit him. It was a fight to the death - but it was his death. not any of the adventurers'. The hydras vanished one by one as Euyfura and the Valk pinned the last minion against a wall.

Ventar the Unholy's (extra fast) pack was also a bit of a swarmer, surrounding our heroes, but they went down much easier. Almost as easy as Colenzo and friends. All that was left now between SweetSpearGirl and Baal, was Lister the Tormentor (spectral hit), who slammed SweetSpearGirl and the Valk around, getting them into stun lock frequently. SweetSpearGirl pulled back, casting a Decoy and drawing off a minion at a time, and with a jab stab poke, one by one, whittled them down into nothing.

Baal turned, vanishing into a flowing red portal.

"I'm so gonna get my ass kicked," the Valk said.

"You said that last time!" Euyfura retorted. "Come on, Valk. Into the lion's den!"

They stepped through. The Worldstone lay before them, huge and scarlet, ancient source of the Soulstones. But that wasn't all that was there. Baal cried out as he saw them, shouting, "My brothers have not died in vain!" but SweetSpearGirl was already attacking him, a Decoy at the ready.

Euyfura stood back, firing, as he chilled SweetSpearGirl and the Valk. He was hurting, though, and they kept up the attack. "No ass-kicking from you THIS time!" SweetSpearGirl yelled...

...And then it was over. One minute he was attacking them with cold wedges and tentacles, the next he keeled over, coughing his guts up, dropping some stuff. A Duskdeep full helm (which SweetSpearGirl donned; it was a decent replacement for her rare crown), some gold, and various other unforgettable items.

She forestalled Tyrael as he spoke from above.

"I know, I know. You need to destroy the Worldstone. Well, whatever. We're going home. Please, if at all possible next time, ask somebody else!"

They stepped through the portal.

THE END

(Addendum: SweetSpearGirl followed up with a few Baal runs to get herself to level 43, at which point she equipped herself with not only her Shael'ed Lycanders - 50 IAS! - but also some very nice rare gloves with +2 to spear skills and - at last! - some mana steal...)


End file.
